You Can Stop Worrying About The Environment

NASA’s new satellite has identified 1,235 planets outside of our solar system, 54 of them in habitable zones that could foster liquid water and thus, life.  Principal investigator and “planet hunter” William Borucki called the data “game-changing”.

Full disclosure, he was overheard to have said the same thing about a new pair of pants he recently purchased.  Also, on a separate occasion, he reportedly muttered it at the beach while peering over his sunglasses at a young lady walking by.  And this other time -- one more?  No? 

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Spaceship Potato

New evidence in the round vs. flat earth debate: it’s actually just “shaped like a lumpy potato.” That’s a nice compromise. Everyone likes potatoes! Spanish women are even starting to have potatoes for faces.  Plus, if we leave the earth out in the sun for a while it should grow sprouts, which we could live in or eat (except the ones that are “mildly poisonous”).


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