The Spiked Drink Testing Wand

Are you constantly worried that someone is trying to incapacitate you? And you wish there was some way to carry with you at all time a device that "resemeble[s] a straw or stirrer" that you could dip in your drink periodically to test for drugs? And it would "light up or a part of it will rotate or maybe it will send a message to your cell phone" if something is afoot? 

Did your great idea testing rod rotate as you read this?