Everyone's Quitting Facebook

More news to support my sad theory that Facebook is in its "bloated purple dead-on-a-toilet phase": 100,000 British people quit Facebook last month. Even I'm shocked by that number, though. 100,000? What are they all doing with themselves?

Your first inclination is to think, ah, that's great, they're probably getting out into the world, living life instead of clicking through somebody else's. But with society having grown so social media-centric, quitting Facebook can seriously hurt their chances of finding a boyfriend or girlfriend, leaving them depressed and emaciated. Also if they go out and climb a tree, they'll probably just fall because their arms are so weak from technology. This Facebook exodus could be the most ill-fated British surrender since the Siege of Yorktown. There, I said it.
What would it take to get you to quit Facebook? I think this question has already been asked on lots of sites, but let's pretend I just thought of it for the first time. For me, I'd quit if it meant saving the life of a single anonymous child somewhere in the world. Anywhere, even someplace I don't like. Would you? What if you couldn't even use someone else's account to brag about it?