Be Cool

It's going to be 98 degrees in Chicago today!
That's really hot, especially if you're like me and you've had your pores cauterized. It's important to stay cool so your body and mind don't become a mess. Here are some tips for beating the hotness:
  • Don't go outside. Stay inside in your air conditioned house or workplace. Don't go outside.
  • If you do have to go outside, come inside again, right away. Don't go out there again. Why did you - just, ugh, just stay inside.
  • Eat garlic, mint, and spicy foods. They actually cool you down.  Eat them inside, though, not on your balcony or rooftop.
  • Ice bath, take an ice bath. Turn your water to cold, all the way, until ice starts coming out. Or just pour all of the ice from your freezer into your bathtub. Then bathe in it. Run it over your arms and the back of your neck. Listen to soft music loudly and say "oh yes" a lot. Also take a real shower, because the ice won't get you very clean.
  • Don't -- hey, why are you going so close to the door! 
  • Icicles - think about them. Try and make one with your mind.
  • Don't go indoor tanning, at a salon. Don't go to a tanning salon today.
Enjoy the day!